It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.

where have i been

2006-01-14T08:07:15Z

whats up everyone. hows everyone doin. i figure since I never really talk to anyone anymore I'll just post on here and hope you guys see it.

i love all you guys. but its so hard to see everyone like i did. my senior year is crazy. im always busy and always out doing something. but yeah. i still think about all my friends. all you guys wiether we talk anymore or not. you guys rock. hit me up on here and leave something if you want. or gimme a call sometime just to say whats up. i miss you guys and your not forgotten.

much love. 464-7290

yeah...

2005-06-15T08:26:29Z

so basically... you know.

iight peace

ian is a fuck

2005-05-19T01:39:29Z

pubh3ro: yo dude, u there
CobainForSon: yeah whats up
pubh3ro: nuthin man
pubh3ro: hanging out
pubh3ro: thinking about how to kill my parents
CobainForSon: werd
CobainForSon: ghey
pubh3ro: ya?
CobainForSon: whY?
pubh3ro: cause
pubh3ro: they REFUSE to let me take the driving class online
pubh3ro: they are making me go to this 8 hour thin
pubh3ro: and if i dont show up they take my liscense
CobainForSon: so you want to kill them because of that?
pubh3ro: oh no
pubh3ro: not just that
CobainForSon: hrmmm
CobainForSon: wanna see my proof that cs: s s gay?
pubh3ro: im not allowed to see any of my computer friends
pubh3ro: i have to get a job
CobainForSon: thats life
pubh3ro: and work 9 horus a day picking up trash for my dad
pubh3ro: 2 jobs man
CobainForSon: bullshit
pubh3ro: hes going to take my computer
CobainForSon: no hes not
pubh3ro: hes not going to help me with a car now
pubh3ro: if i dont get a job
pubh3ro: and work for him
pubh3ro: hes taking my compuer, liscense, wont buy me a car
pubh3ro: hes taking MY money out of the bank and my savings bonds and hes gonna pay bills with it
pubh3ro: so i wont have any money
CobainForSon: bullshit
pubh3ro: that iuve been saving for 16 years
CobainForSon: i dont believe that for a second
pubh3ro: thanks stan
CobainForSon: Ian... that is bullshit
CobainForSon: your parents wouldnt do that
CobainForSon: they arent scum
CobainForSon: your parents are actually nice
CobainForSon: unlike my mom
pubh3ro: yeah, you think that fromt he times your here
CobainForSon: no ive seen them upset
pubh3ro: my parents are downright cruel to me
pubh3ro: and my dads serious
pubh3ro: no dude
pubh3ro: u dont know
CobainForSon: when we came home that day and your parents found out about us sneakin out
pubh3ro: my dad has never lost his temper around you
CobainForSon: they were so good about it
pubh3ro: oh that was nothing
CobainForSon: and you were being an ass
CobainForSon: you were laughing and acting like it was funny
pubh3ro: u should have seen it when you left
pubh3ro: dude u act like an ass to ur mom
CobainForSon: was there blood and guts and guns sliinging?
pubh3ro: even when shes not being so bad
pubh3ro: no
CobainForSon: roffle
pubh3ro: he punched me
pubh3ro: over
pubh3ro: and over
CobainForSon: bullshit
pubh3ro: how would you know
pubh3ro: youve never seen my dad loose it
pubh3ro: my mom
CobainForSon: because i know
pubh3ro: is nothing compared to him
CobainForSon: i cant tell when people are lying
CobainForSon: i am chasmatic
CobainForSon: i can read people
CobainForSon: your dad wouldnt beat you
pubh3ro: CobainForSon: i cant
CobainForSon: and if he did i would know it
pubh3ro: man your so full of yourself
CobainForSon: and i really dont appreciate ou saying shit like that cause you actually have no idea what its like to be scared of your life from yoru father
CobainForSon: and i do
pubh3ro: you act like your around him all the time
pubh3ro: my dad wonthit me in the face
CobainForSon: you dont know what its like being punched in the face
pubh3ro: ive been punched in the face before man
CobainForSon: by your father especially
CobainForSon: shutup
CobainForSon: yours skipping 7th period everyday because your scared of some black kid
CobainForSon: believe i know
CobainForSon: i hear shit ian
CobainForSon: im not a moron
pubh3ro: he threated me with a gun you fuck
pubh3ro: im not scared of anyone
CobainForSon: HAHAHHA
pubh3ro: but guns are a different story
pubh3ro: man
pubh3ro: of all the people in the world
pubh3ro: i thought my best friend would offer understanding
pubh3ro: instead
pubh3ro: you call me a liar
pubh3ro: and turn this into shit youve experienced
pubh3ro: thanks
CobainForSon: im not gonna accept dishonesty
pubh3ro: i would appreciate it if you go fuck yourself

you might want to stay the fuck away from me

stanimal @ 2005-04-01T23:42:00

2005-04-03T04:50:20Z

right so...

fe and i are going out.
i may never be able to hang with her again. im dumb
daytona wasnt that bad.
college life seems cool.
school on monday.

im kinda grounded. but who knows the difference anyways.

Take Advantage of This...

2005-03-10T02:12:22Z

You can ask me 3 questions, anything. No matter how personal, dirty, private or random
- I have to answer them honestly.
In return, you have to post this message in your own LJ and you have to answer the questions that are asked to you.

Everyone should start wrestling if your interested at all. If you are, im me and i'll hook you up with the details.

long time no update

2005-03-06T06:40:37Z

dear whom ever this may concern,

sometimes life just feels like too much. and i needed this weekend. it was one of the best ive had in a long time. im so happy that Fe and I are talking again. i was going crazy.

i dont even know what to put in here anymore. i use to just sit and bitch, but if you sit on here and bitch it is only for attention. or you would do it in something noone else could read.

i love Toni and Fe so eff'ing much. this night ended really hard for me, got some really bad news. but its good to know people care. thanks, without you two id be lost. much love.

-stan

My Valentines day!

2005-02-15T03:22:53Z

I'm so eff'ing sick its not even funny. 103 Temp, it hurts to talk.

I love Kelly, cause she called me today to wish me a happy v-day. She rocks.

Anyways homies. Can't wait for the weekend. Date w/ Toni and Teal. Then PARTY!

... fich dich

2005-02-02T20:20:28Z

its so wierd. like you wish you could care. but you care less. the resolve is simple yet you don't see it. take time to see and understand and maybe things will all be well. i can only hope, but then again. why should i?

im not gonna fix what i didnt break. but im open to closure

You have something I will never.

2005-01-25T04:26:00Z

I'm loosing everything I care for. I don't know why. Not all of a sudden. I just feel so empty again. Like I'm not here for a purpose. I'm not trying to get attention. I just wish people realized how lucky they are. I mean someone basically gives themself entirely to you, and you take it for granted.

I feel so alone. Without friends, without love, without god. What must I do? How much more must I sacrifice? I wish I had back what once I called mine. But I understand life works against that dream.

Morose.. thats it

2005-01-11T20:01:33Z

I great man gone. A good fight lost.
If only the one they call so high was there.
But there was nothing. Just hope failed.
A love that will never be replaced.
But the memory I have is forever. Always, love.

R.I.P. - David Summe - 1.11.05

..what are friends

2005-01-10T04:20:28Z

what are friends. something i dont have it seems. seems like im only a friend when something is wrong. or someone needs something. im not a fuckin accessory. you make me feel so alone. not anyone specifically. just everyone who i mean nothing to. being depressed is like a routine now. i have nothing anymore.

lie

2005-01-04T04:23:27Z

you know what is stupid. liars. i hate them.

i dont think people get it. when i say if you lie to me your dead to me. im not joking. it isnt funny. im being serious. Lying will fuck you up. And it did.

We were best friends. You had trust.
You lie like nothing. And thats what you get.. nothing.

Info

2005-01-01T05:48:45Z

Yeah so I just got home. Werd

Thats pretty tiight. But me and Felix arent going out anymore. We are gonna remain best friends :). Which totally rocks. No drama, no nothing. We are cool. Straight up. I'm not upset. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. :) Take it easy guys.

Dont feel bad for me. Trust me. I'm OKAY! :D <3

Coming Home

2004-12-30T17:01:41Z

I'm finally coming home. I know you all miss me. :P syke

I'm gonna be home LATE tommorow night. Prolly go to the beach. I dunno depends on how everyone feels.

Why does it always seem like I did something wrong? I hate this feeling. But there is always something new. I just wish that I knew. But I prolly never will... Fuck it

Hey Nuccas

2004-12-28T19:22:52Z

Whats going on kids. Indiana is eff'in lame but at least i can get online whenever i want now. Dude people are flaming assholes. I guess promises mean nothing anymore? w.e its cool. I'm starting to like not even care anymore. Ian your the best bro. :D

Anyways, I wrote a song. It is the bomb diggity. I played it for my grandfather... yeah. This is kinda hard time and I appreciate all you that care. I'll be home in 3 days. Can't wait to drive my car again. Gimme a call...

stanimal @ 2004-12-27T13:54:00

2004-12-27T18:56:25Z

hey guys,

im here in Indiana in this hospital. Kinda sucks here. Being bored. Lots of walking. Lots of snow. I miss everyone, especially you. Coming home in 4 days. Counting Down! Everyone should give me lots of calls cause im never doing anything serious. 464-7290.

i <3 you

stanimal @ 2004-12-25T10:08:00

2004-12-25T15:08:26Z

I got a bunch of new stuff :).

Most importantly i got a new cell. Call me and I'll add your number on here. 464-7290

Kinda sucks that I'm leaving tommorow... ohh well ill get over it

Eventful Day

2004-12-24T04:42:15Z

Today I was suppose to be going to Indiana. Got about half way into Alabama and found out that the roads were to icy to drive on. So we are in a Holiday Inn.

I'm really happy. Fe and I are together. She is amazing. I hope everyone is okay. But there is nothing that will change my mind about this...

Well Christmas may suck but I think I have the one thing I wanted.

Indiana

2004-12-22T16:13:52Z

Yeah, so today I begin my voyage by car to Indiana. A state where corn and bean fields rule the land. Where a farmer's pitchfork is the most valuebale possession all around. Where it is 15 below on a normal day. Indiana is the devil's land! Its EVIL I tell you. RawR

I'm gonna miss you guys for 6 whole days. So leave me comments every now and then updating me on whats going on. Peace

anata o suki desu.. :D

EDIT: We were SUPPOSE to leave today. Change of plans. We don't know if we are going at all now :D. Which is so rad. I love snow storms that let out a foot of snow! WooHoo!!

best day ever

2004-12-22T04:18:42Z

Today like rocked socks harder than socks could be rocked.

I finally got my license.. FINALLY!!

Mom was being mad cool.

and I hung out with Uma.. :)

overall today ROCK'd!!

Upside Down

2004-12-20T23:27:48Z

I try to breathe...
Memories overtaking me...
I try to face them but
The thought is too much to conceive
I only know that I can change
Everything else just stays the same
So now I step out of the darkness
that my life became cause

wow... Staind is one amazing band.

Music is great. If I'm lonely, sad, mad, happy, calm, any emotion anytime. Music is there and it always makes things better. Unless the music sucks. In which case you have a very unhappy Stan. RawR...

another lan

2004-12-18T16:27:44Z

Yea, I know I know. I'm a nerd
But LAN's are so much fun.

Leavin for Indy in 4 days. :(
I don't wanna go. Anyone wanna come with? :P
I have some room in my duffle bag.

anata o suki desu ;) (inside thing)

if you thought you knew me

2004-12-16T03:59:01Z

www.poetry.com

Search: Summe, Justin
Find: 3 poems in a row

comments?

hey there

2004-12-15T21:08:39Z

Felix is my best friend... there is nothing that is gonna change that.

Think what you want but don't let it get to me. I'm sick of people's b.s. Besides that im pretty much... okay? i guess. poetry is my release.

cant sleep

2004-12-14T05:59:08Z

i stare at the nothingness imbedded on the walls.
the blank stare rewinds the pain, the anguish.
i feel as i have felt so many times before.
what is different this time. am i closer to closure?
or am i drowning in my own merciless sorrow?
now defined as my own self-loathing entity.
not unfit in description, but awry in desire.
nothing settles, leaving torment to recipricate.

-justin summe